Mad Hatter Quotes

“Really, now you ask me,” said Alice, very much confused, “I don’t think—” “Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter.

“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly. “I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone: “so I ca’n’t take more.” “You mean you ca’n’t take less,” said the Hatter: “It’s very easy to take more than nothing.”

Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time,′ she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.′ `If you knew Time as well as I do,′ said the Hatter, `you wouldn’t talk about wasting it. It’s him.′ `I don’t know what you mean,′ said Alice. `Of course you don’t!′ the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!′ `Perhaps not,′ Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.′ `Ah! that accounts for it,′ said the Hatter. `He won’t stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o’clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you’d only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!′

`Your hair wants cutting,′ said the Hatter. He had been looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was his first speech.

`Have you guessed the riddle yet?′ the Hatter said, turning to Alice again. `No, I give it up,′ Alice replied: `what’s the answer?′ `I haven’t the slightest idea,′ said the Hatter.

`I want a clean cup,′ interrupted the Hatter: `let’s all move one place on.′

“Take off your hat,” the King said to the Hatter. “It isn’t mine,” said the Hatter. “Stolen!” the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a memorandum of the fact. “I keep them to sell,” the Hatter added as an explanation; “I’ve none of my own. I’m a hatter.”

“Why is a raven like a writing-desk?”

The Hatter was the first to break the silence. “What day of the month is it?” he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear. Alice considered a little, and then said “The fourth.” “Two days wrong!” sighed the Hatter. “I told you butter wouldn’t suit the works!” he added looking angrily at the March Hare.

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began very cautiously: “But I don’t understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?” “You can draw water out of a water-well,” said the Hatter; “so I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh, stupid?”