“Thinking of Father’s scheme to marry me off, I said, “Sometimes people are forced into wedlock. If they must marry, perhaps it’s better if they must love.”
“With each of his letters I fell more in love with him. But I couldn’t tell him. If I said I was old enough to marry and his question had only been the continuation of a good joke, he would be horribly embarrassed and our easy friendship would be ruined. He might stop writing, which I couldn’t endure. If he wasn’t jesting, it was for him to say so. Until then or never, I treasured our correspondence.”
“I refused to become a princess but adopted the titles of Court Linguist and Cook’s Helper. I also refused to stay at home when Char traveled, and learned every language and dialect that came our way.”
“Everyone called it losing Mother, but she wasn’t lost. She was gone, and no matter where I went—another town, another country, Fairyland, or Gnome caverns—I wouldn’t find her. We’d never talk again, or laugh together. Or swim in the River Lucarno. Or slide down the banister or play tricks on Bertha. Or a million things.”
“The sister could have no reason to lie to me. If Ella and I had married, she would only gain. But Ella’s note convinced me in the end. It was in her hand, and the last phrase about smiling at her jewels and laughing at the world was certainly her own. … She charmed me as easily as she did the ogres. … But her letters were the greatest deception of all. She seemed so good-hearted.”
“Words rose in me, filled my mouth, pushed against my lips. Yes, I’ll marry you. Yes, I love you. Yes! Yes! Yes! I swallowed, forcing them down, but they tore at my throat. A strangled noise erupted from me, but not words, not consent.”
“I shall have to sell our manor, our furniture, the carriage. And I shall have to sell you, in a manner of speaking. You must marry so that we can be rich again.”
“I stayed out of my stepfamily’s way as much as possible, and the longer I worked as a scullery maid, and the filthier I got, the less Hattie and Mum Olga tormented me. I think they gloried in my squalor as proof of my baseness.”
“Char was looking at me with such gladness, and I loved him so. I was the cause of his joy and would be the cause of his destruction: a secret delivered to his enemies, a letter written in my own hand, a covert signal given by me, poison in his glass, a dagger in his ribs, a fall from a parapet.”
“But in bed, before I fell asleep, I’d imagine what I would do if I were free of Lucinda’s curse. At dinner I’d paint lines of gravy on my face and hurl meat pasties at Manners Mistress. I’d pile Headmistress’s best china on my head and walk with a wobble and a swagger till every piece was smashed. Then I’d collect the smashed pottery and the smashed meat pasties and grind them into all my perfect stitchery.”
“I’ll write to you. You shall know all my doings. Will you write to me in return?” “Yes, but I’ll have no doings, or few. I shall invent, and you’ll have to decide what is real.”
“Marry me, Ella,” he said again, the order a whisper now. “Say you’ll marry me.” Anyone else could have said yes or no. This wasn’t a royal command. Char probably had no idea he’d given an order.”