Hey, Al Quotes

“One morning Al woke up and shrieked. ‘Eddie! Look at us! We’re turning into birds!‘”

“Unbelievable! Lush trees, rolling hills, gorgeous grass. Birds flitted to and fro. Waterfalls cascaded into shimmering pools.”

“Al, a nice man, a quiet man, a janitor, lived in one room on the West Side with his faithful dog, Eddie. They ate together. They worked together. They watched TV together. What could be bad?”

“Birds sang and brought them food. They ate. They drank. They swam. They sunbathed. They never had it so good. ‘So, Al, is this so terrible?’ they large bird asked. ‘What a life,’ Al cooed. ‘A guy could live like this forever.‘”

“Al barely made it home in one piece. Alone, without his friend, he was heartbroken.”

″‘I don’t want to be a bird! I’d rather mop floors!‘”

″‘Al,’ said the bird, ‘are you working too hard? Still struggling and going nowhere? Hmmm? Listen. Have I got a place for you. No worries, no cares- it’s terrific.‘”

″‘We can’t have a house? A little back yard to run around in for a change?’ ‘Oh, sure,’ Al snapped. ‘Today it’s a house you want. Tomorrow, who knows? Maybe the moon!‘”

“Paradise lost is sometimes Heaven found.”

“But ripe fruit soon spoils.”