Spike Milligan Quotes

“Our friendship ripened in the warm sun, and one day he confided me that he had decided to become a writer. Shyly he shewed me a piece of paper with the word ‘NEVERTHELESS’ on it. ”

“I first met him in North Africa during the last war. I was laundering my white flag in a wadi when I became aware of being watched for a man wearing a German Helmet, an Italian tunic and British boots.”

“Once upon an unfortunate time, there was a hairy thing called man. Along with him was a hairier thing called animal. Man had a large brain which made him think he was superior to animals.”

“In China they killed all the sparrows. In Australia they killed all the rabbits. Everywhere man killed all wild life. Soon there was none, and all the birds were poisoned. Leader man said ‘At last! We are free of pests.‘”

“T’was midnight in the schoolroom. And every desk was shut, when suddenly from the alphabet was heard a loud ‘Tut-Tut!’

“Aristocrats have heirs, the poor have children, the rest keep dogs. The A Bomb apart, I think it’s high time we paid attention to the English Dog cult, that now view with Christianity for popularity in the top-ten- religions.”

“On grim winters’ evenings, when streets are deserted, through the back alleys of Knightsbridge and Kensington, you will see two shadowy figures moving painfully down a dark street.”

“Now it came to pass that among the busy tribes there were many, shall we say, less industrious females. One such lass came upon what, up till then, had been a perfectly happy litter. ”

“My nose, my nose lived dangerously, Its courage was no stunt! Throughout the goriest battles, My nose was out in fro. But when the war was over and we’d defeated the Hun, suddenly, for no reason at all, my nose began to run!”

“Things that go ‘Bump’ in the night, Really shouldn’t give one a fright. It’s the holes in the ears that let in the fear, that and the absence of light.”