The Astonishing Color of After

By Emily X R Pan

A girl seeks her mother's spirit in Taiwan, uncovering family secrets and confronting her grief.

4.0/5 Goodreads · 34,382 ratings

480 pages

$10.99Save 7%

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Bookroo's summary

Leigh Chen Sanders believes her mother transformed into a bird after her death. Traveling to Taiwan, Leigh meets her grandparents and embarks on a quest to find her mother. As she navigates a world of ghosts and family secrets, Leigh must reconcile her grief with the day she kissed her best friend, Axel. In a journey blending reality and magic, Leigh discovers the power of love, art, and family history. Will she find the answers she seeks, or will the past hold more than she can handle?

From the publisher

A Time Magazine 100 Best YA Books of All Time Selection A stunning, heartbreaking debut novel about grief, love, and family, perfect for fans of Jandy Nelson and Celeste Ng. Leigh Chen Sanders is absolutely certain about one thing: When her mother died by suicide, she turned into a bird. Leigh, who is half Asian and half white, travels to Taiwan to meet her maternal grandparents for the first time. There, she is determined to find her mother, the bird. In her search, she winds up chasing after ghosts, uncovering family secrets, and forging a new relationship with her grandparents. And as she grieves, she must try to reconcile the fact that on the same day she kissed her best friend and longtime secret crush, Axel, her mother was taking her own life. Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a stunning and heartbreaking novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love. “Emily X.R. Pan’s brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book.”–John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down