
By Sonora Reyes
Cesar battles inner turmoil and guilt as he risks vulnerability to reclaim love and self-worth.
Seventeen-year-old Cesar Flores is determined to win back his ex-boyfriend, Jamal, after coming out and managing his bipolar diagnosis. But as intrusive thoughts and Catholic guilt resurface, Cesar's confidence crumbles. Struggling to hide his shame behind humor, a manic episode forces him to confront his fears. Will he risk the vulnerability of seeking help and love from those he's hurt, or will he burn every bridge? Cesar's journey is a poignant exploration of self-acceptance and the courage to embrace love despite past mistakes.
2026 Schneider Family Book Awards Honor2026 Américas Award Commended Title”This is Sonora Reyes at their absolute best.” – Aiden Thomas, New York Times bestselling author of Cemetery BoysFrom bestselling author Sonora Reyes comes a poignant and searingly honest companion novel to the multi-award-winning The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School, following beloved character Cesar Flores as he comes to terms with his sexuality, his new bipolar diagnosis, and more mistakes than he can count. Seventeen-year-old Cesar Flores is finally ready to win back his ex-boyfriend. Since breaking up with Jamal in a last-ditch effort to stay in the closet, he’s come out to Mami, his sister, Yami, and their friends, taken his meds faithfully, and gotten his therapist’s blessing to reunite with Jamal.Everything would be perfect if it weren’t for The Thoughts–the ones that won’t let all his Catholic guilt and internalizations stay buried where he wants them. The louder they become, the more Cesar is once again convinced that he doesn’t deserve someone like Jamal–or anyone really.Cesar can hide a fair amount of shame behind jokes and his “gifted” reputation, but when a manic episode makes his inner turmoil impossible to hide, he’s faced with a stark choice: burn every bridge he has left or, worse–ask for help. But is the mortifying vulnerability of being loved by the people he’s hurt the most a risk he’s willing to take?
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