I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter Quotes

“I got stuck in this horrible loop. I became completely preoccupied until I focused on my breathing and surroundings and forced myself to write a list of reasons as to why [my thinking] was untrue.”

“Amá just shakes her head. “You know, Julia, maybe if you knew how to behave yourself, to keep your mouth shut, your sister would still be alive. Have you ever thought about that?” She finally says it. She says what her big, sad eyes were telling me all along.”

“You know, Julia, you’re always causing trouble, creating problems for your family. Now that she’s dead, all of a sudden you want to know everything about her? You hardly even spoke to her. Why didn’t you ask her anything when she was alive? Maybe you wouldn’t have to be here, asking me questions about her love life.”

“She knows I’m no stranger to trauma. I’ve seen what the world is capable of.”

“The sky is still dark, but it’s beginning to brighten. There are beautiful, faint streaks of orange over the lake. It looks like it’s been cracked open. I think of Jazmyn’s face when I told her about Olga. Everywhere I go, my sister’s ghost is hovering.”

“But how do we live with these secrets locked within us? How do we tie our shoes, brush our hair, drink coffee, wash the dishes, and go to sleep, pretending everything is fine?”

“Okay, I get it, but do you actually believe he doesn’t look down on us? You don’t think he sees us without thinking we’re ghetto? I just don’t want you to get hurt. You can tell right away that he’s rich.”

“Yes, I know, but one day you’ll know how much it hurts to be a mother.”

“I hate this feeling, the not knowing. These in-between places are scary, but then again, I understand that nothing is ever certain.”

For months, I’ve tried to forget what happened, but it comes back in flashes and specks, no matter how much I try to drown it out [...] There’s so much I wish we could both unsee.