The Duck in The Gun Quotes

“For Days the General and his men had been marching. Now they were all round the town and ready to fight. The General called his Gunner. ‘Is the gun in place? ’ he said.”

‘You mean the duck’s right in there?’ said the General. ‘Yes, sir, ’ said the Gunner. ‘I put my hand in but I couldn’t reach it.’ The General looked down the gun and saw two small eyes looking back at him.”

‘There is something you can do, sir,’ said one of the men. ‘You can fire it with the duck inside.’ ‘No, no, no,’ said the General. ‘We’ll think of something else. I know, we’ll borrow a gun.”

“Good’, said the General. ‘Load it. When I give you the order, fire.’ ‘Very well, sir,’ said the gunner and he went away. But a little later he came back. ‘Sir, we can’t fire the gun.’ ‘Why not?’ shouted the General.”

“The General grew red in the face. ‘Why can’t you load it?’ he shouted. ‘Please, sir,’ said the Gunner. ‘There’s a duck in the gun.’ ‘A duck? In our gun?’ The General jumped up from his chair.”

“The General’s face went red again. ‘Come out, blast you!’ he shouted and he banged on the gan with his sword. There was another quack but the duck didn’t stir from her nest.”

The story is adorable, with a fantastic cast of characters (especially if you do the voices). The best part is that it really nails that exaggeration-that-helps-kids-to-think-rationally type of humour that so many children’s books aim for

‘Please, sir,’ said the Gunner. ‘Could we put some food at the end of the gun? If the duck is hungry it’ll come out and eat.’ ‘A very good idea,’ said the General. ‘Get me some bread at once.”

“The guards led him through the streets to the Prime Minister’s house. The General knocked on the door and at once it was opened by the Prime Minister’s daughter.”

“Oh yes,′ said the girl, ‘I’ve seen your pictures in the paper. Won’t you come in?’ She turned away and called, ‘Father, here is the General to see you.”