Mark Haddon Quotes

“And when I was asleep I had one of my favorite dreams… And in the dream nearly everyone on the earth is dead.”

“And it shows that something called Occam’s razor is true. And Occam’s razor is not a razor that men shave with but a Law, and it says… ‘No more things should be presumed to exist than are absolutely necessary.‘”

“And Father said, ‘Christopher, do you understand that I love you?‘”

“Mr. Jeavons said that I liked maths because it was safe. He said I liked maths because it meant solving problems, and these problems were difficult and interesting but there was always a straightforward answer at the end. And what he meant was that maths wasn’t like life because in life there are no straightforward answers at the end.”

“I think I would make a very good astronaut. To be a good astronaut you have to be intelligent and I’m intelligent. You also have to understand how machines work and I’m good at understanding how machines work. You also have to be someone who would like being on their own in a tiny space-craft thousands and thousands of miles away…”

“This is because I do not always do what I am told. And this is because when people tell you what to do it is usually confusing and does not make sense.”

“And then, after a while, she said, ‘Christopher, let me hold your hand. Just for once. Just for me. Will you? I won’t hold it hard,’ and she held out her hand. And I said, ‘I don’t like people holding my hand.’ And she took her hand back and she said, ‘No. OK. That’s OK.‘”

“And this shows that sometimes people want to be stupid and they do not want to know the truth.”

“Then he said, ‘I did it for your good, Christopher. Honestly I did. I never meant to lie.‘”

“People say that you always have to tell the truth. But they do not mean this because you are not allowed to tell old people that they are old and you ‘re not allowed to tell people if they smell funny or if a grown-up has made a fart. And you are not allowed to say, ‘I don’t like you,’ unless that person has been horrible to you.”

“Mother used to say that it meant Christopher was a nice name because it was a story about being kind and helpful, but I do not want my name to mean a story about being kind and helpful. I want my name to mean me.”

“Then, when I’ve got a degree in Maths, or Physics, or Maths and Physics, I will be able to get a job and earn lots of money and I will be able to pay someone who can look after me and cook my meals and wash my clothes, or I will get a lady to marry me and be my wife and she can look after me so I can have company and not be on my own.”