Farley Drexel Hatcher Quotes

“I looked at him and thought about having to go through it all over again. The kicking and the screaming and the messes and more – much more. I felt so angry that I kicked the wall.”

″‘Where is Pee-tah going?’ Fudge asked. ‘I’m running away,’ I told him. ‘But I’ll come back to visit. Someday.‘”

″‘There’s nothing wrong with him!’ I said. ‘My mother calls him Fudge. My father calls him Fudge. My grandmother calls him Fudge. His friends call him Fudge. My friends call him Fudge. I call him Fudge. He calls himself Fudge...‘”

″‘If only I knew for sure what the baby will be like’, I said. ‘Take a chance Peter,’ Dad said. ‘The baby won’t necessarily be anything like Fudge.’ ‘But it won’t necessarily not be anything like him either,’ I answered.”

″‘Do you love me mommy?’ ‘Yes, very much.’ ‘Then get rid of Tootsie,’ Fudge said. ‘I’m sick of her. She’s no fun.‘”

″... whenever we had company, Fudge tried to sell Tootsie. ‘You like the baby?’ he’d ask. ‘Oh yes... she’s just adorable.’ ‘You can have her for a quarter.‘”

“Mom opened her arms and Fudge jumped into them. He rested his head on Mom’s shoulder, shoved his fingers into his mouth, and slurped on them. I know it’s stupid, but just for a minute I wished I could be Mom’s baby again, too.”

“My biggest problem is my brother, Farley Drexel Hatcher. He’s two-and-a-half years old. Everybody calls him Fudge. I feel sorry for him if he’s going to grow up with a name like Fudge, but I don’t say a word. It’s none of my business.”

“I thought how great it would be if we could trade in Fudge for a nice cocker spaniel. That would solve all my problems. I’d walk him and feed him and play with him. He could even sleep on the edge of my bed at night. But of course that was wishful thinking. My brother is here to stay. And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“I can stay up for as long as three minutes. I showed my mother, my father, and Fudge how I can do it right in the living room. They were all impressed. Especially Fudge. He wanted to do it too. So I turned him upside down and tried to teach him. But he always tumbled over backward.”

“The next day my mother dragged Fudge to Dr. Cone’s office. He told her to leave him alone. That Fudge would eat when he got hungry. I reminded my mother that I’d told her the same thing—and for free. But I guess my mother didn’t believe either one of us because she took Fudge to see three more doctors.”

“We had an eater, a biter, and a crier. I thought that two-thirty would never come. I also thought my mother was slightly crazy for dreaming up the party in the first place. “Doesn’t Fudge have any normal friends?” I whispered. “There’s nothing wrong with Fudgie’s friends,” my mother whispered back. “All small children are like that.” ”

“Mom,” I said, shaking my head. “how could you?” ” “How could I what, Peter?” Mom asked. “How could you let him do it?” “Let who do what, Peter?” Mom asked. “LET FUDGE EAT DRIBBLE.” I screamed.”