Francesca Simon Quotes

“Rude Ralph would never stop teasing him. He’d be shampooed every night. Mum and Dad would find out about all the nit letters he’d thrown away.... He could of course get a tummy ache double quick and be sent home. But Nitty Nora had a horrible way of remembering whose head she hand’t checked and then combing it in front of the whole class.”

“When no one was looking he picked a few nits off the paper towel. Then he wandered over to Peter and casually fingered a lock of his hair. ‘Mum!’ squealed Peter, ‘Henry’s pulling my hair!‘. ‘Stop it, Henry,’ said Dad. ‘I wasn’t pulling his hair,’ said Henry indignantly. ‘I just wanted to see how clean it was. And it is so lovely and clean,’ added Henry sweetly. ‘I wis my hair was as clean as Peter’s.’ Peter beamed. It wasn’t often that Henry said anything nice to him.

“The next morning at school a group of parents burst into the classroom, waving the nit letter and shouting. Miss Battle-Axe squared her shoulders. ‘Rest assured that the culprit will be found.’ she said. ‘I have declared war on nits.’ Scratch, Scratch, Scratch. Miss Battle-Axe spun round. Her beady eyes swivelled over the class. ‘Who’s scratching?’ she demanded. Silence”

‘It’s not polite to count nits,’ said his younger brother, Perfect Peter, wiping his mouth with his spotless napkin. ‘Is it, Mum?’ ‘It certainly isn’t,’ said Mum. Dad dragged the nit comb across his head and made a face. ‘Ugjj,’ said Dad. Mum dragged the comb through her hair, ‘Bleccch,’ said Mum. Mum combed Perfect Peter’s hair. Then she did it again. And again. And again. ‘No nits, Peter,’ said Mum, smiling. ‘As usual. Well done, darling.’ ‘It’s because I wash and comb my hair every night,’ said Peter.”

“In the split second that he stood still to consider this interesting information, Mum emptied the bottle of supersonic nit-blasting shampoo over his hair. ‘No!’ screamed Henry. Frantically he shook his head. There was shampoo on the door. There was shampoo on the floor Mum and Dad. The only place there was no shampoo was on Henry’s head. ‘Henry! Stop being horrid!’ yelled Dad, wiping shampoo off his jacket.?

“Henry scratched his head. ‘Stop scratching, Henry!’ said Mum and Dad. ‘Uh-oh,’ said Mum. She put down her fork and frowned at Henry. ‘Henry, do you. have nits again?’ ‘Of course not,’ said Henry. ‘Come over to the sink, Henry,’ said Mum. ‘Why?’ said Henry. ‘I need to check your head.’ Henry dragged his feet over to her slowly as possible. It’s not fair, he thought.

“He hated the stinky smelly horrible shampoo much more than he hated having nits. Only today his teacher, Miss Battle-Axe, had sent home a nit letter. Naturally, Henry had crumpled the letter and thrown it away. He was never ever going to have pongy nit shampoo on his head again. What rotten luck Mum had spotted him scratching.”

“Henry bent over his worksheet and tried to look studious. ‘Henry is,’ said Moody Margaret. ‘Liar!’ shouted Horrid Henry. ‘It was William!’ Weepy William burst into tears. ‘No it wasn’t,’ he sobbed. Miss Battle-Axe glared at the class. ‘I am going to find out once and for all who’s got nits,’ she growled.

″‘It’s the only way to get rid of nits,’ said Dad. ‘But it never works!’ screamed Henry. And he ran for the door. Mum and Dad grabbed him. Then they dragged him kicking and screaming to the bathroom. ‘Nits are living creatures,’ howled Henry. ‘Why kill them.’ ‘Because...’ said Mum. ‘Because...because... they’re blood-sucking nits,’ said Dad. Blood-sucking. Henry had never thought of that. ”

“It wasn’t his fault nits loved him. Henry’s head was a gathering place for nits far and wide. They probably held nit parties there and foreign nits visited him in their holidays. Mum dragged the nit comb across Henry’s head. She made a face and groaned. ‘You are crawling with nits, Henry,” said Mum.”