Joseph Heller Quotes

Well, he died. You don’t get any older than that.

When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.

The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.

Surely so many countries can’t all be worth dying for.

The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.

From now on I’m thinking only of me.

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

Insanity is contagious.

They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.

He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it.

Why are they going to disappear him?

The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.

“Be glad you’re even alive.” “Be furious you’re going to die.”

You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.

You have deep-seated survival anxieties. And you don’t like bigots, bullies, snobs or hypocrites. Subconsciously there are many people you hate.

I hate them consciously.

He was never without misery, and never without hope.

There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.

Anything worth living for is worth dying for.

You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions.

If you’re going to be shot, whose side do you expect me to be on?

A little grease is what makes this world go round. One hand washes the other. Know what I mean? You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.

She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.