“Jeez, I have to go, I have to go and stand up there, and nobody laughs, and you think , you think I .... I don’t mean to take it out on you. You’re suh - suffering enough, being married to a loser.”
“Well, I remember you describing the white face and the green hair to me when I was a kid. Scared the hell out of me.
I thought you’d be interested...
Yeah, well I had some interesting nightmares.”
“I hate this. Whenever we jail him, I think ‘Please God, keep him there.’ Then he escapes and we all sit round hoping he won’t do anything too awful this time.”
“Something like that happened to me, you know. I ... I’m not exactly sure what it was. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another ... If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!”
“It’s all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for ... it’s all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can’t you see the funny side? Why aren’t you laughing?”
“Sir, I’m sorry, but your wife had an accident this morning, apparently testing a baby-bottle heater. There was an electrical short, and, uh ... well, she died sir. I’m sorry.”
“Memories are what our reason is based upon. If we can’t face them, we deny reason itself! Although, why not? We aren’t contractually tied down to rationality!”
“It’s like, I began as a lab assistant, right? Was a good job. Real good job. So, what I did, I quit to become a comedian. I was so sure, so sure I had talent.”
“I’ve been thinking lately. About you and me. About what’s going to happen to us, in the end. We’re going to kill each other, aren’t we? Perhaps you’ll kill me. Perhaps I’ll kill you. Perhaps sooner. Perhaps later.”