jokes Quotes

“This is how I think of us, when I remember our nights at Troy: Achilles and I beside each other, Phoinix smiling and Automedon stuttering through the punch lines of jokes, and Briseis with her secret eyes and quick, spilling laughter.”

“They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure.”

“Sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and help them.”

“I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn’t notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.”

“I would have liked to tell Mr. Palmer just how old and feeble that joke is, but instead I said, ‘Oh, of course, sir! How clever of you’ because I had learned a thing or two during my time at the Glenmore. About when to tell the truth and when not to.”

“We have all been guilty of making jokes at someone else’s expense. Most of the time, such jokes can be relatively harmless. But, as in other forms of toxic parenting, it is the frequency, the cruelty, and the source of these jokes that make them abusive.”

“It’s all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for ... it’s all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can’t you see the funny side? Why aren’t you laughing?”

“Oh you think these are carrots. These are not carrots. These are orange twiglets from Jupiter.”

“Sometimes my mother laughs like crazy at my jokes. Other times she pretends not to get them. And then, there are times when I know she gets them but she doesn’t seem to like them. This was one of those times. So I decided no more jokes until after dinner.”

″‘Oh Elmer,’ gasped an old elephant. ‘You’ve played some good jokes but this has been the biggest laugh of all. It didn’t take you long to show your true colours.‘”

“I tell jokes and cut capers about the place and make the monks laugh. They all say I’m possessed by the devil and insult me. But I say to myself: It can’t be true; God must like fun and laughter.”

“They were so tense and miserable that such simple jokes were all it took to fill the room with laughter.”

″‘Born in?’ ‘Bethlehem.’ Rockhead looks up. The brain peeps out from behind the brawn. ‘Don’t worry, sir. It didn’t happen in a stable.’ Clunk. Another jest falls flat on the ground.”

“My name is Marigold, but to one and all because my father is very memorable and eccentric and had been around at the school for a very long time before I was born- was only Bill’s Daughter. Hence Bilgewater. Oh hilarity, hilarity! Bilgewater Green.”

“I’ve already said we spent hours and hours in the trees, and not for utilitarian reasons, like many boys, who climb up just to look for fruit or birds’ nests, but for the pleasure of overcoming difficult protuberances and forks, and getting as high as possible, and finding beautiful places to stop and look at the world below, to make jokes and shout at those who passed under us.”

“Alexander lived in a block of flats in the big city. Even though he was not allowed to have a real pet, he had Felix, a toy dog. Felix was Alexander’s best friend and always laughed at Alexander’s jokes.”

“I really think the boys laughed as much as we did, for they were good natured enough not to mind a joke at their own expense.”

“Wine: it’s what’s for dinner,” Elliot said with a laugh.”

“Well, I don’t say it wasn’t a fine joke, Tom, to keep everybody suffering ‘most a week so you boys had a good time, but it is a pity you could be so hard-hearted as to let me suffer so. If you could come over on a log to go to your funeral, you could have come over and give me a hint some way that you warn’t dead, but only run off.”